Love in life or Love of life

Love in life or love of life.
Such seems the eternal choice of pursuit.
Some seem struck by the pursuit of love within life but I say nay!
To have love of ones life, of mirth and merriness is of most fulfillment of ones self and then should love find it’s self within a life already loved, well,
that is the grandest of contentment.

I beg that you think on this of love and life.
Love will leave life, for this is a certainty.
Be it through quarrel
or death
or saddest of apathy,
love will leave.
This will be the greatest of grievances ,
I’ll not say otherwise but in a life not loved where love leaves there will never be a sadness more deeply felt.
If love should leave a life loved than loved life will go on.
Sadness will rain down but shelter from the storm be found within the loved life it’s self.
So for with I say seek not love in life but love of life and pray that the other will follow in suit.

~ Christa F.

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Hello…is it me you’re looking for

Well hello again.
It’s been a while. So much has happened.
The geeklings and I moved back to our home town. My brain went snap where we were living and we moved back to where I/we have family and friends to support us.
We attended our first ComicCon (OH MY GOD!!!)… I know right. We were dressed like The Doctor 9, 10 & 11. We got our picture taken with and by Geek God Wil Wheaton (we kinda got tweeted BY Wil Wheaton which made all our lives, frankly)
I also got a Serenity poster signed by Nathan Fillion & Jewel Staite. I got my photo taken with Nathan Fillion, Jewel Staite & Gillian Anderson.
Somehow I managed to get my photo taken with Nathan Fillion without crying, visibly shaking or being removed by security. I’d call that a big ole win.

My fella and I tried long distance and it didn’t pan out. I thought I was dealing with it well but apparently and according to my current manic state, I am not. I’ve started going crazier than a¬†shit house rat and…well….that’s where I am. Out a lot at night, subjecting the poor city to crazier and crazier versions of myself. Before you ask, yes I am still medicated and yes I have another doctors appointment. I don’t know why it’s not under control. It’s been catalyst into the stratosphere of mental health issues and I’m struggling to keep what little control I have on it.

Something I AM doing with it though is writing. Nothing cohesive, more like little blurbs here and there. Individual little thought bubbles that come out of my crazy mind. I’ll post the more public appropriate ones here (read: the ones I want people to know about)

So, that’s where we are. We had our first ComicCon, our Geek-Mitzvah if you will. Some super awesome stuff happened while we were there. Sat in on some amazing panels, got pictures with cool celebs (Wil & Nathan were the coolest, Jewel is a total sweetie and gives great panel), I’ll totally Con again. I kinda want to pursue my dream of being an actress now. If for no other reason than to act in a Joss Whedon project and then Con for the rest of my life. I would totally panel & sign autographs still Cosplaying cause I’m a nerd like that. *sings* To dream the impossible dream.
I’m still crazy, maybe even crazier than before… But I’m trying to be creative and not terribly self destructive with it… We’ll see how that goes.

Ya… Capt. Tom out!

Photo Courtesy of Wil Wheaton

Photo Courtesy of Wil Wheaton

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